Posts by Madame Quixote

26

Non Sexual Child abuse.

by vomit in

sexual child abuse is the flavor of the day.

but to me the whole jw religion is child abuse.

sometimes through the parents directaly, i.e.

Uncle Bruce said: "Yes Gill, for most sane people to be truly happy freedom is essential. Once living a cult free life we appreciate even the smallest of freedoms. The freedom to buy a lottery ticket, smoke a cigarrette, watch a sexy video, say the word "lucky" or even just think a few bawdy thoughts" This probably explains my chronic use of the words "f@ck," "sh*t," and "d*mn" as essential parts of my vocabulary. "Lucky" also comes into my mouth from time to time! I no longer smoke, but I know I am free to do so at any time, despite my allergies to smoke. I definitely do not need to do naughty things all the time to be happy, but I do need to feel I have the choice, the autonomy to make those decisions, without "Big Brother" YHWH breathing down my back. The Watchtower Society is like an abusive, negligent "Big Brother," not a loving organization, especially for kids.

7

When Someone You Love Is An Abuser . . .

by Madame Quixote in

what strategies work to help them find alternatives?

i have little nephews whose lives could be improved, but i feel powerless, impotent (because of the shunning) to really help in any way.

i know that my sister and even my crazy parents want what's best for the kids, but they don't seem competent to figure out what's best and i doubt i could prove my opinion in court.

Madame Quixote

I totally agree, and like I said, if it was something I could prove, I'd report it in a heart beat. The physical abuse (in my presence) amounted to nothing more than chronic threatening of spankings and a few smacks, (which a lot of people believe is okay, including social workers), but the mental abuse is terrible. I wish I could do something, but like you said, "parental rights." What about childrens' rights to live without constant fear? I hate it for them. I want them to be whole and I feel hopeless to help them. I want to be whole, and as long as this crap continues in my own family, I feel it is impossible. I've had a couple drinks and tears are streaming down my face as I write this. Sometimes I feel so disgusted about it. Anyway, you are right. There is apparently no solution to the problem of children being brought up in cult religions, unless you can prove physical abuse and/or neglect. And if you're being shunned and you're on the outside, good luck with that.

23

for those who were abused sexually or know of someone who was

by Sam87 in

did it get dealt with at all?

are the offenders still out there ?

have they been dealt with by the law?

Madame Quixote

I am so very sad and sorry for those who've posted these stories of abuse. Mine is so minor, I feel foolish to discuss it, but the shame that surrounded it made me block it out for years. When I was about 11, a cousin (whose mom had recently converted to the JWs), basically tricked me into "feeling him up." (He was not an elder, nor a Witness, in my opinion, but a teen-ager whose life was devastated by more than his mother's conversion to the JWs; I think the JWism was no help to him, though). I was mortified by his deviousness in the molestation, but kept participating because I didn't want to be perceived as stupid or unsophisticated (which I was). Afterwards, he told me never to tell anyone and that we should "pray to Jehovah for forgiveness." And lo and behold, that's just what I did. Years later, he gave me the creeps by things he said to my little girl who was about 3 or 4 then, and the memory of the experience I'd blocked out returned. I told my mom about it and that I didn't want him or his mother anywhere near my daughter. Later, the local police questioned him on suspiscion of murdering his girlfriend (who disappeared and left a very young child behind). And he was sent to prison for grand-theft auto and kidnapping, during which he kicked a small child out of a moving vehicle. I think he's in prison for a very long time, where he belongs. I know he was abused and neglected as a child, too, by his then-not JW mom; I suspect it got worse after she converted. I wish that I did not judge him, nor that I felt fear of him (for telling the truth about what happened); and I wish that he had not suffered abuse and neglect as a child. I think he could have been a totally different person, if not for that. Violent parenting is passed on from generation to generation, especially when there is a religion telling parents,"spare the rod and spoil the child." I say spare the family the rod and the religion.

7

When Someone You Love Is An Abuser . . .

by Madame Quixote in

what strategies work to help them find alternatives?

i have little nephews whose lives could be improved, but i feel powerless, impotent (because of the shunning) to really help in any way.

i know that my sister and even my crazy parents want what's best for the kids, but they don't seem competent to figure out what's best and i doubt i could prove my opinion in court.

Madame Quixote

. . . what strategies work to help them find alternatives? I have little nephews whose lives could be improved, but I feel powerless, impotent (because of the shunning) to really help in any way. I know that my sister and even my crazy parents want what's best for the kids, but they don't seem competent to figure out what's best and I doubt I could prove my opinion in court. I just stay away because it all disturbs me too much. I have sent the family literature and brochures from silentlambs and I can't think of much else to do. I also have pretty much cut off my own contact with them for the sake of my own mental health (and they shun me anyway, so it's best). I just wish I could help my nephews, (and all of the adults, too), but I feel most sorry for the boys because I recall a lonely, miserable childhood as a JW. They seem so tender and vulnerable and the adults seem so blind. I fear they are all unreachable.

12

I am still AMAZED at how much I have learned and keep learning

by megsmomma in

jw
friends

this board has helped me so much in clearing my head and becoming myself.

i feel like i used to be such a shell of a person......and when i would hear the things the wtbts taught....i just numbly took it in and didn't really even really "hear" what they said.

then, i was so well "trained" to respond to questions from people that i could give the "right" answers to questions from studies....."wait on jehovah...." being a common one.. after i left years ago...i still wasn't free from the teachings.

Madame Quixote

Me too. I've been out of the jws for years and believed it was all a bunch of nonsense since I was a teen, but now, thanks to the internet and hard facts, I've got proof. Finding out about the UN scandal and all the SilentLambs stuff last year blew my mind. It's a good thing to shed the baggage on your own, but it's great to have help and support. I wish I'd'a known all this stuff before. Anyway, it's a great site, here and there are a lot of others too! It helps to ward off the (perhaps inevitable) sense of worthlessness that can creep up on you when you feel abandoned by your loved ones. Hugs and congrats to you!

6

19th Birthday Party

by Madame Quixote in

jw
friends

my daughter will be turning 19 on the 24th.

this weekend we're having a dinner party for her at indochine restaurant and then taking her guests to the movies.

i am so pleased that i am able to do this without one iota of fear or guilt like the jws wish they could still impose on us.

Madame Quixote

My daughter will be turning 19 on the 24th. This weekend we're having a dinner party for her at Indochine Restaurant and then taking her guests to the movies. I am so pleased that I am able to do this without one iota of fear or guilt like the JWs wish they could still impose on us. I feel a little sad that no one in our family will be there to honor my daughter, but mostly I feel enormously happy that my daughter is such a happy little goth and that she's her own person, not obsessed with preaching the so-called "good news" of Jehovah's crazy kingdom, nor with pleasing anyone but herself. I hope she and her friends have a great time this weekend; just wish my little JW nephews could come. They would have had a lot of fun at her other birthdays when she was younger; now she's with a little older crowd - all good kids, I'm happy (and lucky) to say. What a blessing it is to be "worldly" and to know that "worldly" people are good too. Happy Birthday, my "Little Biddle."

121

Mom Died -- and I found out from an old friend!

by BrendaCloutier in

ok, i'm writing this thru tears as i just found out in the last 5 minutes.

my dad died in august, and they had been together just 1 or 2 weeks over 70 years married!

i didn't expect her to last without him, and visa versa.. i just tried to call my sister, and no answer there.

Madame Quixote

We are pushed away from them and shunned like garbage for years on end and when we finally come to the decision to stay the hell away for the sake of our own mental health, we get blamed. It is so typical of the JWs. I am so, so , so sorry for your double loss. I thought I would get through this thread without crying, but I did not. I feel so sad for you and know what to expect myself from my family . . . so sad. I am amazed at how even-handedly you handled your emails. You are amazing. Do take time for yourself and have a true memorial for your mom, in your own space, time and way. The Witnesses won't, as you probably know. Lady Lee is right. Best wishes, hugs, condolences, Brenda.

27

My heart hurt today at all the wasted years in the ORG.

by purplesofa in

jw
friends

it was on the history of the morman religion.

one of the docs i work for is morman.

i always try to find something to chitchat with the docs with, so i asked him about his religion.

Madame Quixote

Hugs, PS. I too have days like that, but not too often. It really can and does hit like a ton of bricks every once in a while, in different ways, at different moments and sometimes very, very unexpectedly. It makes us vulnerable to fall prey to other addictions/cults, too. You are right to be a little wary of the Mormons and it is understandable that you're looking at them as a comparison. Most of my relatives are JWs, but I also have a Mormon aunt and uncle on my dad's side. I think our family was just some how pre-dispositioned to develop religious addiction. It is hard to let go of sometimes, but it looks like you are still young enough to work things out with your kids. Education is always available, regardless of their ages and regardless of the past. You can still support them and yourself in pursuing it; better late than never. Hugs and best wishes. I know how you feel. There is much time and money and human resources wasted in the bOrg. Congratulations on having the strength to get out and stay out and be your own person; and most especially, kudos for setting the example for your kids and getting out of a bad situation and making the best of what you've got.

1

Grocery-shopping sux

by Madame Quixote in

jw
friends

but, yeah, i know, i know, i should be grateful that i can go grocery shopping.

the cost of everything is killing me.

i think i'm going to lose my mind over finances.

Madame Quixote

. . . but, yeah, I know, I know, I should be grateful that I can go grocery shopping. The cost of everything is killing me. Am I the only one? I think I'm going to lose my mind over finances. Just want to bitch! Gawd!

53

Do you hate Jehovah's Witnesses?

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

do you hate jehovah's witnesses?

since becoming a member of this board, it has often come.

Madame Quixote

Queengreen - I have sent you the following p.m., as well, but since you are new here and because others may have the same concerns as you, I am posting it here as well: In answer to your question regarding the thread about hating Jehovah's Witnesses, I urge you to check out this Silent Lambs website, because I suspect you may not be aware of the worldwide problem of child abuse and the Jehovah's Witnesses: http://www.silentlambs.org/index.cfm If you are interested in better understanding the anger, sadness, rage and grief that most people posting on this board have experienced, (or are experiencing), as a direct result of their involvement with JWs, there are many here who need and want to share, and who can offer valid insight and point you to other websites explaining it better than I have. What you interpret as hatred is not usually hatred, but rather, anger. Those are two different things. Anger can be used positively or negatively; it is right and proper for all human beings to experience anger over hypocrisy and abusive exploitation, which is what the Watchtower Society of the Jehovah's Witnesses is all about. And it is always appropriate to speak truth to power. We speak truth to the organization that once had power over us. Now, we have the power to use our anger appropriately and rightly.